When I grow up
"I want to be a police man" is what the handmade card taped to the wall said. Accompanying it was the drawing of a man in blue. The police officer in the eyes of a 6 year old boy. Color provided by Crayola. This wasn't the card I was looking for.
"When I grow up I want to be a doctor."
That wasn't the card I was looking for either. It has an impressive drawing of a doctor though. I imagined Ender and this doctor kid getting together to make comic books in the back of the class. Ender would do the story, this master of the crayon would illustrate. They could bring it home, I'd take them to get copies. They'd sell them for $0.10 a piece. Maybe $0.25 if this kid could draw superheroes as well as he drew doctors.
I still had a day job back then. I had taken the day off, so this was a rare opportunity for me to pick Ender up from school. When I entered, I found all these occupation drawings on display. While Ender was getting ready to go, I was browsing through them, looking for his.
"I want to be a dad." That was cute. Touching. A card I'm sure any father would have been happy to see. Maybe even some mothers. It still wasn't the one I was looking for though.
I saw cards made by children who, at the time of publishing, wanted to be teachers, bus drivers (?), firemen, and vets. A lot of the occupations seemed to be influenced by what their parents do. I'm pretty sure most six year olds don't know what an Orthopedic Surgeon is, much less daydream about being one.
This got me thinking, what would Ender put if he wanted to follow in my career path? Computer guy? I have a hard enough time identifying what I do, how would he? I don't think "When I grow up I want to be a web designer/developer specializing in flash development and creative consulting" would fit on the paper. Ends up he wasn't interested in my career anyway.
"When I grow up I want to be a tiger."
That's all I needed to see to know it was Ender's. A quick search around revealed that Ender's chosen occupation was the only one that wasn't an occupation at all, or human (and don't you dare say that being a dad isn't an occupation). On one hand I was extremely proud. It was creative. It challenged the structure of these stupid projects. It was an in-your-face bold move on his part. It was thinking outside the box. It was crazy!
I wanted to pat him on the back and say "Hey man, you go for it! Don't restrict yourself to the confines of the reality presented to you!" Then I thought about it for a moment. What if he really does want to be a tiger? What kind of person am I raising? Does he really not know the difference between species? How am I supposed to reassure him that there is no such thing as zombies when he thinks humans can turn into tigers? Maybe I haven't done my job educating him in current events. The life of a tiger sucks. Most are in a zoo or are being hunted. Who would want a life where the best thing you could ask for is to be Sigfield and Roy's plaything?
That's when it occurred to me. Its not my job to tell him what he wants or doesn't want. Its my job to inform him. I'm here to give my child as much information as possible. To advise when necessary. I'm going to explain why something is right or wrong, not to just tell him it is. Then let him decide for himself what he thinks based on that information. That way, when he says he wants to be a tiger, I shouldn't say "You can't be a tiger son, its impossible.", I should just remind myself that I haven't shown him how Sigfield and Roy dress.
"When I grow up I want to be a doctor."
That wasn't the card I was looking for either. It has an impressive drawing of a doctor though. I imagined Ender and this doctor kid getting together to make comic books in the back of the class. Ender would do the story, this master of the crayon would illustrate. They could bring it home, I'd take them to get copies. They'd sell them for $0.10 a piece. Maybe $0.25 if this kid could draw superheroes as well as he drew doctors.
I still had a day job back then. I had taken the day off, so this was a rare opportunity for me to pick Ender up from school. When I entered, I found all these occupation drawings on display. While Ender was getting ready to go, I was browsing through them, looking for his.
"I want to be a dad." That was cute. Touching. A card I'm sure any father would have been happy to see. Maybe even some mothers. It still wasn't the one I was looking for though.
I saw cards made by children who, at the time of publishing, wanted to be teachers, bus drivers (?), firemen, and vets. A lot of the occupations seemed to be influenced by what their parents do. I'm pretty sure most six year olds don't know what an Orthopedic Surgeon is, much less daydream about being one.
This got me thinking, what would Ender put if he wanted to follow in my career path? Computer guy? I have a hard enough time identifying what I do, how would he? I don't think "When I grow up I want to be a web designer/developer specializing in flash development and creative consulting" would fit on the paper. Ends up he wasn't interested in my career anyway.
"When I grow up I want to be a tiger."
That's all I needed to see to know it was Ender's. A quick search around revealed that Ender's chosen occupation was the only one that wasn't an occupation at all, or human (and don't you dare say that being a dad isn't an occupation). On one hand I was extremely proud. It was creative. It challenged the structure of these stupid projects. It was an in-your-face bold move on his part. It was thinking outside the box. It was crazy!
I wanted to pat him on the back and say "Hey man, you go for it! Don't restrict yourself to the confines of the reality presented to you!" Then I thought about it for a moment. What if he really does want to be a tiger? What kind of person am I raising? Does he really not know the difference between species? How am I supposed to reassure him that there is no such thing as zombies when he thinks humans can turn into tigers? Maybe I haven't done my job educating him in current events. The life of a tiger sucks. Most are in a zoo or are being hunted. Who would want a life where the best thing you could ask for is to be Sigfield and Roy's plaything?
That's when it occurred to me. Its not my job to tell him what he wants or doesn't want. Its my job to inform him. I'm here to give my child as much information as possible. To advise when necessary. I'm going to explain why something is right or wrong, not to just tell him it is. Then let him decide for himself what he thinks based on that information. That way, when he says he wants to be a tiger, I shouldn't say "You can't be a tiger son, its impossible.", I should just remind myself that I haven't shown him how Sigfield and Roy dress.
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